October 4th
Osama bin Laden's Nightmare
by dan moore

“Ah, where am I! Don’t kill me!” exclaimed Osama bin Laden as he woke up from a horrible nightmare. Osama bin Laden felt a wet spot on the bed and sighed. Oh no, he thought, he had had a wet dream again. Osama bin Laden could barely go a night without premature ejaculating in his pants, something he was very embarrassed about. His pennis was so small as it is!

“Another nightmare?” said Osama bin Laden’s wife. She could not stand him anymore and was embarrassed of his having done 9/11 with the help of the US Government’s deep state. “Don’t think I will touch your little ass dick just because you are sad because of your nightmare because I won’t.” Her breasts were amazing, exotic, and humongous and natural.

“I dreamed that tough, well-trained American soldiers killed me again,” said Osama bin Laden, sweating like a bitch. He was truly disgusting and was a burden to everyone who used to love him.

“Shut up, Osama. As you know, it is now my time of the morning to masturbate by myself,” said Osama bin Laden’s wife as she pulled out the old Chad Michael Murray headshot she used as… material! She master bated right in front of Osama bin Laden who almost cried at how much everyone knew he was a piece of shit.

Osama bin Laden sighed and got out of bed and his wife’s vibrator started going before he even closed the door! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Osama bin Laden went out to make some cereal to see his son, Hazma bin Laden, playing Game of War: Fire Age on his Samsung Galaxy.

“Well, hello, son. Whatcha playing?” asked Osama bin Laden, only trying to be the nice dad.

“Get the fuck out of my face, pussy-ass bitch,” said Hazma bin Laden, “I hate you and I do not respect you.” His son went back to playing his game.

“I am sorry I ruined our lives by attacking the United States on that fateful day on September the 11th but I am still your father and I love you,” said Osama bin Laden and he went to tousle his son’s hair.

Hamza bin Laden got up on the table and pulled out his pennis, which was much bigger, Osama bin Laden noticed, embarrassedly, than his own. Hamza bin Laden took it and smacked his father across the cheek wit his dick. The hit stung to Osama bin Laden but more so his pride was stung. How could his son hit him in the face with his dick? He had not been perfect but he was sad that his son could make him feel so bad.

“Why have you done this, my son?” asked Osama bin Laden. “I created you and gave you that pennis is the ironic part. Why have you tried to hurt me?”

“Mushroom stamp,” declared Hazma bin Laden and he went back to leading his heroes on the battlefield in Game of War: Fire Age. Osama bin Laden looked in the mirror and it was true: his son’s penis had left a red, mushroom-shaped mark on his face.

BANG! All of a sudden there was a loud sound as an explosive C4 charge blew open the door of the compound and large, sinewy US Navy SEALs of SEAL Team 6 burst in. The SEALs are America’s most elite fighting force and are directly disrespected every time the NFL thugs kneel during the National Anthem.

The Navy SEALs all had badass epic beards that could probably of won a beard contest. Their muscles were massive and they all carried Colt M4A1 assault rifles loaded with hollowpoint bullets that will turn the back of your head into lunchmeat if you know what I mean!

“Oh no, hide me, son!” screamed Osama bin Laden pathetically as he hid behind his son.

“Stop embarrassing me, you disgusting fucking pig,” said Hamza bin Laden and he pushed Osama bin Laden out in front of the epic Navy SEALs.

“Oh ho ho! Look who it is! Osama bin Laden, the number one bitch on America’s Shit List!” exclaimed the lead Navy SEAL. “Looks like you will finally receive justice from the horrible events of September the 11th.”

“What’s all this racket? I am so close to cumming!” said Osama bin Laden wife shrilly. Then she came out fully nude and saw the Navy SEALs. “Oh my god!” she said, “finally some real men around here!”

“Ma’am, we are sorry to disturb you,” said the head Navy SEAL. “You are very beautiful and your bikini line is flawlessly waxed so we will let you go about your business. However, we must kill this man because he is Osama bin Laden.”

“Please, defend me, my wife!” screamed Osama bin Laden like a horny rodent.

“Oh, I think I will go about my business… with you Navy SEALs!” said Osama bin Laden’s wife and she began unbuttoning the pants of the lead Navy SEAL.

“Sir, should we allow this?” asked the 2nd in command Navy SEAL.

“I don’t see why we can’t satisfy this beautiful woman with our 10-inch cocks while we kill Osama bin Laden,” said the head Navy SEAL chuckling to himself. “She looks like she has not been properly boned in years!”

“Decades!” she said and she began giving a loud, sloppy blowjob to the lead Navy SEAL guy.

“ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!” she said, slobbering on his thick hog.

“Nooooooo!” cried Osama bin Laden, forced to watch his wife have mindblowing sex wit his worst enemy.

“This is pretty cool!” said his son, Hamza bin Laden and he made a cool handshake with some of the Navy SEALs who were filming the sex on their phones for their Clips4Sale accounts.

The gang bang was fully on as Osama bin Laden’s wife contorted her body like a Stretch Armstrong doll or should I say Sex Armstrong doll to satisfy all the Navy SEAL.

“AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHH!” she exclaimed as the Navy SEALs used their knowing, calloused hands to please her body in ways she never even knew were possible.

“Is this allowed by Sharia Law?” said one of the Navy SEALs and they all laughed at the joke except for Osama bin Laden.

Osama bin Laden took out his shriveled, awful penis and began to cry and jerk off.

“Look at it!” yelled Hamza bin Laden, his son. “It’s so small!”

“Hahaha it is, you are right my boy. Here, let me give you a REAL video game!” said one of the Navy SEALs who had just finished balling his mom and he gave him GTA 5.

“Oh my god!” said Hamza bin Laden, “you guys are GAMERS too!?!”

“Oh of course!” said the lead Navy SEAL who was shoving his balls in Osama bin Laden’s wife’s ass. “We do a Twitch stream, you should check it out!”

“I will…” said Osama bin Laden’s son, grateful to now have basically a full squad of fathers instead of his disgusting, cowardly one.

At that moment, Osama bin Laden’s wife said: “I think I am about to squirt.”

All of the Navy SEALs put on their rain jackets and then Osama bin Laden’s wife said “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and let loose a torrent of female ejaculant that was pent up from years of waiting for real men to touch her g-spot.

“Ughhhhhh,” said Osama bin Laden and he cummed the smallest amount anyone had ever seen.

“Oh my God, Dad, is that it?” said Osama bin Laden’s son, laughing.

“Hahaha!” exclaimed the Navy SEALs.

“Let’s show him how it’s done boys!” said the head Navy SEAL and he nutted so much on Osama bin Laden’s wifes face and she loved it and they all nutted at the same time.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” said Hamza bin Laden and he highfived them all.

BANG! The head Navy SEAL shot Osama bin Laden in the face and his head completely exploded, spraying blood, brains and pieces of skull all over the place. His body hit the floor with a thud and twitched and he pissed himself.

There was a pause. Then Hamza bin Laden got up and squatted up and down over what used to be his dad’s head. “Teabag!” he said.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” all the Navy SEALs burst out laughing.

“Haha ha ha ha ha!” said Osama bin Laden’s wife at the humiliated corpse of her husband. She tried to give her number to some of the Navy SEALs as they left but they threw it out in front of her.

“My gamertag is USNavySEAL54, the 5/4 is my son’s birthday,” said one of the Navy SEALs to Osama bin Laden’s son.

“You seem like an amazing father,” said Hamza bin Laden.

“I am. Hop online and play GTA Online sometime!”

The Navy SEALs left in their stealth helicopter and called Barack Obama.

“We got him bitch,” they said.

“Yas bitch, thank you,” said Obama.

Just then, Osama bin Laden woke up in bed sweating. He had had a nocturnal emission and it was foul.

“Ah! Where am I!” he said.

His wife was next to him, masturbating to a picture of Tom Cruise.

“You’re in bed, you dumb fucking idiot. God, it’s disgusting that you cummed.”

“I love you, my dear,” said Osama bin Laden. “I had a dream that I died but I am happy to be alive with you.”

“I hate you and I hope you die,” said Osama bin Laden’s wife, masturbating harder.

Just then, an explosion went off at the door.

Oh no, thought Osama bin Laden.

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